April 23, 2013

I may not be an Orange Rhino - but that's ok

While I have failed flagrantly on my Orange Rhino Challenge and have since given up, and given myself permission to not be perfect - I have grown tremendously. At least I feel that way today :)

I have felt very, very, very, very, very challenged in my calmness and connectedness goal recently with my #2 child. Is it your ability to see through all excuses and justifications? Is is your ability to bravely and correctly call me out on my BS ways? Is it your passionate search for truth that has be grappling with tough questions? Is it your unquenchable thirst for understanding EVERYTHING and never giving up when you are 98% there? 


It's also your moodiness, your dramatic response to things I deem insignificant.

But it's what's real to you and what you are feeling and who am I to judge??? 

After winning this city's crankiest mom award yesterday & feeling like crap - I vowed last night while studying at church that all day today I would hug you Charlotte, every time you made my blood boil. We hugged 67 times. And ended the night in harmony *sigh*

 Love really does save the day. I felt this tighter bond with you by the nights end. I feel at peace with myself and with you and with my life.

That Orange Rhino lady really does have it right. But I give myself permission to not be perfect. I can't force absolutes upon myself or others. But I can vow I will always be trying to be better.

And even though it's annoying as HELL that you are 99% correct 99% of the time about my shortcomings. And even tough William is very, very, very loud and angry when things don't go his way right now. I know it never, ever, ever, ever, ever, fails that by about the 3rd time of me loving you guys how you want to be loved (William wants to be sat next to and Charlotte you seem to want to be hugged) every fiber in your ever-loving being calms down and reaches out to thank me, not in words....but I can feel it. It's what we all need when we are crazy - don't' you think?? That friend that sees through the crazy and says in word and deed "I love you no matter what" It's THE answer. At least I keep telling myself so.

Date Night with girlie pie

Charlotte my dear - you had been hounding me for a little alone time. You call this "mommy day." I admit it can be hard to come by with all the people clamoring for me. But you finally grabbed my attention long enough to say with all intensity "Mommy! WHEN can we have mommy day?!" 
"OK! I am listening now. I will schedule it right now!" And I did.

One perfect Sunday evening in March we went to the Americana and had dinner at Granville.
I introduced you to the ways of the virgin strawberry daiquiri. Oh my does that bring back pleasure moments in my childhood. When my parents were feeling spendy they would let us get these when we we go to Acopollco restaurant. Love.

The above pic about sums up your reaction. 
I then asked the waiter for a few blank pieces of paper and informed you that you had a surprise from your dad and I. I then ripped the paper in small pieces and wrote out the surprise one word at a time and scrambled them up. It took you a bit - but then you got it.
And this was your face.

Our amazing waiter saw us celebrating and brought you out a dessert with a candle assuming it was your birthday. When he found out we were just celebrating our love he brought me out a virgin strawberry daiquiri. I love random acts of kindness.

Sweet girl......thank you for being such an amazing daughter, teacher, sister and friend. I am blessed by you every day. I look forward to many a dinner celebrating our love. 

April 13, 2013

11 Step Program for those thinking of Having Kids:

Dear Children,

I saw this on Facebook this week, a friend of mine with 5 kids found it. When the cramps in my face & tears of laughter subsided enough to type - I knew it was time to record this for all time. Yes these are ALL things parents 110% go through. Take note. Your dad and I love you A LOT. If I had to choose a few favorites (so tough) I would say they are #2, 8 & 10. Know them well.


Lesson 1

1. Go to the grocery store.

2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.

3. Go home.

4. Pick up the paper.

5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2

Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...

1. Methods of discipline.

2. Lack of patience.

3. Appallingly low tolerance levels.

4. Allowing their children to run wild.

5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breastfeeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.

Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3

A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...

1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly. (Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)

2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.

3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.

4. Set the alarm for 3AM.

5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.

6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.

7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.

8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.

9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)

Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4

Can you stand the mess children make? T o find out...

1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.

2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.

3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.

4. Then rub them on the clean walls.

5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.

6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5

Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.

1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.

2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.

Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6

Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.

1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment.

Leave it there.

2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.

3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.

4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 7

Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a pre-school child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 8

1. Hollow out a melon.

2. Make a small hole in the side.

3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.

4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.

5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.

6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.

You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 9

Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years.

Lesson 10

Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 11

Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the 'mommy' tape made from Lesson 10 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.