Value Tales - teaching character qualities in a secular (ish) way

Many moons ago I came across a great idea from Michelle Duggar. She is an amazing woman with 19 children. Yes 19!

I have written about her before here and here But ai! I digress! This is not the place to gush about my obsession with that amazing woman and her ways......

While reading her books & watching her show I learned about their character qualities list and how they use it. I absolutely LOVED this idea but alas I am not Christian - so what's a mom to do?!?

It seems the character based teaching materials out there are written from Christian perspectives and worldviews which are great in many ways (which is why I use Sonlight.com for most of our homeschool curricula)  but I really needed something that aligned with our family value system and Scientology religion better.

So I spent.....ummmm......a really long time.....too much time maybe....creating my own chart. I used the Duggar's as a base and took out or changed ones to suit us better and searched our religious texts for more insight. I spent hours combing through, thinking it over and pouring over dictionaries for good definitions. I also read through The Way to Happiness many times (non-religious moral code) to get ideas.

It was a labor of love. And I loved every minute. Even the ones that were way too late getting the excel spreadsheet to format properly.......ok maybe not those.

But I wanted more meat. I needed more books and items to give it "body." I used trusty ol' Facebook to ask the good people for help. And a friend turned me on to Value Tales. This series for children takes a famous person from history and uses their main character trait to tell their story, while emphasizing that trait. Perfect!!!!!!

Here's my system:

1) Several times a week (is my goal!) I will pull out our chart which I keep on my kitchen cabinet but also in a manilla folder for easy portability.

Ideal Character Qualities Document
(I am new to sharing on google docs & can't seem to make it appear as it does in Excel. If you want a copy comment here with your email and I will shoot it over to you. Or better yet help me figure out google docs! :)

2) I will have one of the children pick whichever one they want for that day. And I write it down on the folder. It ain't pretty but it's functional. This way I can keep track of what we've covered.

3) I will read that character quality definition aloud to them and explain it up a storm. 

4) I then ask them to give me examples of both the ideal character quality and it's opposite. For example they would talk about Compassion and examples of such, and then Indifference and examples of such. 

5) I usually have them act them out too. They love that part. Right now C is very into horses and L is very into spy's and weapons - so if they are having trouble I will give them an example within their zone of understanding/reality.

6) I then have them spend some time (5-10 minutes) reading from one of the Value Tale books.

Hooooooked!

Before Value Tales......................................After Value Tales (riiiiight)

7) I then ask them about the book and the character's quality and how it helped him/her succeed. I also ask questions about what they think would happen if that person didn't have that quality, etc. I might ask how they are that way/not that way in their life and how it help/harms them. Not sure if the cog wheels really turn the way I hope - but I can only lead the horse to water right?

This is not a perfect system. It's a baby begining. If anyone out there in cyber space has a great system for teaching ideal character in a secular way - please share!

xoxo

For those wondering how/why to use Sonlight if I am not Christian.....

Why: It's a fan-flipping-tastic homeschool curricula. And that is an understatement. Have I really never shared my love of Sonlight before?? 

I chose them because:

1) I fell in love with the highly organized and almost scripted daily checklists.

2) It was recommended by Heather Sanders of the homeschooling section of Pioneerwoman.com

3) It is literature and history based. This appealed to me as I think an education based on textbooks is pointless - too boring and bland. History does not come alive via textbooks. Sonlight uses quality novels galore in addition to a few textbooks. It's maybe 10% textbook and 90% historical novels, etc.

4) YOU CAN TEACH SEVERAL CHILDREN AT ONCE SPANNING AN AGE RANGE. This might be the #1 reason I chose Sonlight.

5) Because it's Christian based - the novels are quality, they are based on moral character and true heroes. I have cried more than once while reading a novel because I was so moved by how much a single person can do for the good of mankind.

6) They have have incredible customer support system. And their teacher's manuals and weekly notes are incredible. I could weep for how much I love them, and how they have literally thought of everything. 

How: I just don't read or do any of the specific bible activities. I bought a children's bible that my kids love and they can read through that to get acquainted with the bible stories which I think is incredibly important. There are times when Christian world views come about in the general readings, and I use those moments as teaching opportunities and social studies. Since Christianity is a widespread religion with many teachings agree with, I don't find harmful or confusing to expose the children to other people's religions and views. On the contrary, I love that it's ME exposing and being available to answer questions. It has also lead to many, many very deep conversations about our own religion and how our views differ on some things.

Bento Boxing Part Duex

If you missed part one just scroll down. Or click. I'll wait. No really - it's cool.......

You know what Bento-ing is now??

Great!!!

Here's what I've been up to since first starting last month in my attempt to handle our picky toddler whom we swear is a breath-a-tarian and in general make the kids happy about food.

Right up front I am going to apologize for not linking all products. I am just not that cool. But I bought just about everything from allthingsforsale.com and LOVE them. Cheaper than Amazon or anywhere else I have found.

The top half of Willsie's snack Bento. 

Oval Bento box which I love & it's only $4 & has two tiers

Dividers (balled Baran) I don't recommend these ones - too flimsy

C's fish & dog sandwiches :) and super thin apples

A new bento shipment!!! YAY!

Excitement!

Awe!

Alien hardboiled egg :)

My "alien's attack" bento

Excitement & awe

A "make your own" Love themed bento box

This was today's bento for W. LOL!! Those lips are from a sucker that I cracked off and threw away knowing those lips would make hundreds of hysterical lunches. I love this idea - it's from Jill Dubin

W's "Panda Love" bento

C's crazy face sandwhich. Love those candy eyes. I save up my JoAnn's coupons and run in there real fast every few weeks to grab ONE thing for 50% off. Why not? I pass by there 3x a week anyway.

These lips are from our Mr. Potato Head supplies

And when you need a toddler babysitter - pull out the bento supplies and some soap! ;)

Or open the supply drawer and let them get crazy!

I've been having a lot of fun. I sure don't do things this fancy every day. Some days I open up the boxes and wrack my brains for what to fill and kinda throw it in there with some picks. That's ok by me. They  never seem to notice. Love Bento-ing!!!

Bento Boxing 101 - huh?

I was recently turned on to the world of the Bento Box. What the heck is that??

I first learned about it from my new favorite website Mysmallpotatoes.com. 

Wait a second - back up. It actually ALL started because a friend of mine was telling me about “busy bags.”

“What the heck are those?” was my response. She showed me - and I was off. Like a rocket. Totally Allie LeBaron style up-until-1AM-researching-it style. Ooops.

Anything that helps me be a better mother, a more nurturing mother, a mother who doesn't want to kill children at 5pm kind of mother, that is something worth 1AM research.

Anyway, in my journey to figure out this new and exciting area of my mothering career I was spending some time on Pinterest (my other new favorite way to spend my downtime!) creating an idea board for preschool busy bags. And while doing THAT I came across the word “sensory bins” which seemed closely related. 

What the heck is a sensory bin?! Another new word/idea! I was EXCITED!! What else didn’t I know?? And in my search to understand sensory bins that lead me to the beautiful & inspiring website - MySmallPotatoes. She is the master of the sensory bin, the busy bag, and many other child related things. I love her. To death. The kind of love to death that isn't creepy or weird. Promise.

Upon reading up her site I stumbled upon, completely by accident (or was it?) her whole “What’s in YOUR Bento” series and away I went….

Phew – that was exhausting to explain. But kind of fun to follow how cool & inspiring ideas form in my rabbit chased kind of a way…..

Back to the Bento Boxing!!!

What is it?? 

The following is an excerpt from a fantastic article at LunchInABox.net called "Bento FAQ"

What is “bento”? Is it the style of packing? Is it the box? Is it the food?

A bento lunch is a compact, balanced, visually appealing meal packed in a box. Historically, it’s a Japanese box lunch, similar in concept to the Indian tiffin, the Korean dosirak, or the Filipino baon lunch. In Japanese, “bento” or “obento” refers to the packed meal, and “bento-bako” refers to the bento box itself. See the Wikipedia entry on bento for more details.

What are the benefits of packing a bento-style lunch? Is it healthier?

Bento lunches seem to be becoming more popular in North America recently.

• Packed in reusable containers, they reduce lunch waste such as plastic baggies and disposable containers, and allow you to pack a wider variety of food for lunch.
• Portion control is also easy if you follow the general packing rule of thumb of 3 parts carbs, 1 part protein and 2 parts fruits and vegetables, without candy, junk food or oily foods. Packed this way without gaps, a 600ml box holds a 600-calorie meal — a simple method for weight loss without counting calories.
• Picky eaters may be tempted by an attractive presentation of a variety of foods.
• Save money you might have spent on restaurant meals by bringing food from home; the savings from less than a week of eating packed lunches makes up for the initial cost of a bento box or lunch container.

Hopefully that handles any initial confusions. Anyway - one look at the first picture here from MySmallPotatoes and I was hoooooked. I went on to Amazon for my first set of Bento Boxes and matching little containers and then a few days later went to the website she recommends for supplies, AllThingsForSale.com and I was like a kid in a candy store. This was so exciting!!!!!

Here are my very first Bentos & the results......

This is C's snack bento. Not all that pretty - but super fun!

Strawberry & grape "people," acovado slices w/ a bunny food pick, orange slices, dried mango slices w/ some cereal.

This is W's snack & lunch bento. 

L's snack bento. Even a 10 year old was flipped out.

 

 Star shaped cucumbers and carrots - to die for right??

Response.......SUCCESS!!! The second pic is him chastizing me for putting in something alive - oranges. The nerve of some moms!

His response to the star cucumbers...."Ninja stars - how cool mom!!!"

Even though I have NO problem getting C to eat a variety of things - she's a girl. Girls love cute things. She was FLIPPPPED out by the whole idea.

But the true test was going to be W. The pickiest eater on planet earth. Our very own "breath-a-tarian." The child that survives on.....we don't even know! 

So I packed him his school lunch with a Bento and talked about it on the way to school.

Looks pretty much how it always does...container is new - but nothing drastic. He probably wouldn't go for drastic. I wasn't there for the big reveal at lunch time - but when I picked him up I asked how he liked his lunch. 

His response "More Bento momma??? I want eat more Bento lunch"

WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY???? 

When we got home he was so happy about food in general he ate some cereal (my standards are really low with this guy) from a regular bowl.

Happiness!

I then branched out and bought a few more food picks and sandwich cutters and this hard boiled egg mold! SO FREAKING CUTE! My pictures are totally copied to look like Arlee's from MySmallPotoatoes :) 

Step 1 - the molds. Too cute.

Step 2, place a warm hard-boiled egg in mold

gently smoosh them into the mold, close & place in a bowl of cold water for 15 minutes

Voila. Pure awesomeness. 

I am a total Bento Boxer now. My kids talk about them ALL THE TIME. They are always checking up on me to see if I am making them for the next day. It has cut down considerably on the pickiness and saves me time! Why do I bento box if I am "home all day homeschooling." Because 1) I am not always home all day 2) It saves me precious time in our school day that I don't have to waste at the counter when I should/could be helping a student 3) It handles the "what should I eat" and tells them exactly what to eat and in what quantities. 4) I really enjoy making their food cute and it makes them immensely happy. It's win win.

How I organize my kid's toys and life

The subject of how I organize my children's toys has come up recently on Facebook and I thought I would record it here for all time and in hopes to help others......and myself! I need reminders of why I do what I do! :)

Here are some things to consider:

Materials:

1) It's best to have a system that can grow with your family without having to completely recreate it. Meaning, if there was a way to choose a company or type of container that is generic, neutral and will be around 5-10 years from now that's ideal. I originally bought a whole bunch of "shoe box" style clear plastic containers with lids from Target. I recently ditched all of those but they were pretty good while I had them. 

I opted this time around for opaque white ones called Trofast from Ikea. I like opaque!!! I always thought clear was the way to go but I discovered I HATE visual clutter, moreso as I have more kids :) They are $3-5,  and lids are $.75 each I think. They come in 3 sizes: 

Small: Length: 16 ½ "Width: 11 ¾ " Height: 4 " 
Medium:  Length: 16 ½ "Width: 11 ¾ "Height: 9 "

Large: Length: 16 ½ " Width: 11 ¾ " Height: 14 ¼ "

That size is fan-freaking-tastic for many types of kid toys. I will get into all my different categories later. 

I also have a bunch of these I use. From a different system in the older kids room but they are great. It's all a matter of what fits on your shelves!

 If you don't have a shelf already (I did - a really sturdy one that I couldn't justifying getting rid of) I would highly recommend the shelves (below) the Trofast bins were meant for. I drool to have this in my shed for the toy rotation. Drooooool. Not necessarily that exact combinations or colors of bins here - but you can create it however you want. Lots of options here.

I wouldn't use this living room though as it's too "Hello - I am a house full of kids" but if I had a playroom I would! The only downside to using the bins without the matching shelves is I wish the lids fit differently. I wish they wrapped around the outside edges of the boxes making it easier to lift off a lid of a bottom bin when they are stacked directly on top of one another (does that make sense?) but in the above style of storage that wouldn't be an issue as they would never be stacked directly on top of one another.

Bags! Some toys are just too large and bulky to be stored in a bin. So I use these bags. I love them because they zip closed and they are cheap! The clear Dimpa bag is huge Length: 25 ½ "

Depth: 8 ¾ "Height: 25 ½ "  and the Singla is medium at Length: 15 ¾ " Depth: 9 7/8 " Height: 18 ½ "

Dimpa bag $4

Singla bag $3

If you don't have an Ikea near you - pick a store or brand that is large and reputable. Don't pick containers that are too trendy or oddly shaped as this won't jive well with the area you store most likely :)

System:

Two toy areas - Everyday and Storage.

2) I think it's best to have a few areas of toys. The best system I have ever used is an Everyday area (my livingroom) 

and then an out of the way Storage Area to store the toys that I rotate in and out to keep things fresh.

System Details:

Storage Area: I use two areas but you DO NOT need to do this. I homeschool so I am a bit of a freak. For general toy storage I use a mid height shelf in my garage/laundry room (pics above). My shelf height is high enough to stack two medium Trofast bins on top of each other. You want it to be a place you go often enough but not too often and in a location that's easy enough to access - but out of the main traffic so that these toys stay fresh for the little ones. Follow me? 

I also use two drawers in my office/school room for the educational type toys/games/activites that we rotate. These house my sensory bins (what are those?) that I am obsessed with and puzzles, games, etc.

I should and will do a separate post about sensory bins soon!

Why do I store some toys out of sight??? Because I found that when all the toys are out every day they get bored of them SO quickly, they fight, act mischievous, beg for new toys, complain, etc. The goal is not to withdraw their belongings or keep them from their toys - but rather to keep things organized and sane. The overwhelm of toys hasn't hit you yet if you have one child or your children are under 2. :) Wait until you've had 3+ children or your one has had 3-5 Christmases and birthdays - oh and potty training usually yields A LOT of small prizes :) All things that need storing - AHHHHH!!!!!

But, in case you feel guilty about organizing or putting up some toys think about this.... my kids are always extremely HAPPY, cheerful, sweet, loving and eat all their vegetables when I organize for them (maybe not the last part). And when I rotate -  it feels like Christmas. Win win.

As for Everyday Storage this is so simple.....it can be many, many things but I use the Expedit TV unit with a mix of baskets for my Everyday Storage in my living room. Very cute and doesn't look like I have kid toys all over ;) I choose the living room as that's where we hang out mostly. 

For large toys I recommend storing them in large zippered plastic bags I talked about above. I only have one bag in our everyday area at a time. And it's tucked in a corner.

Labeling & Toys in General

I have used various systems over the years for labeling bins. Many have worked - but I definitely do not recommend writing directly on teh bin in permanent marker. This violates the "grow and change with me" #1 rule.

Instead I have printed out my own labels with pretty fonts, etc. but finally what has stood the test of time is just using blank Avery 8160 address labels and with my own handwriting labeling bins. THey remove easily and can be easily updated. 

My bins I keep are as follows - in no particular order:

1) Large blocks

2) Small blocks

3) Cardboard blocks

4) Action figures and movie themed toys

5) Cars, trucks, planes

6) Trains

7) Tracks

8) Stuffed animals

9) Sea Animals

10) Farm animals

11) Jungle & African animals

12) K'nex 

13) Legos

14) Lincoln logs

15) Mr. Potato Head

16) La La Loopsies (dolls)

17) Baby dolls & clothes

18) Soft balls

19) Farm house and doll house

20) Baby toys

Bins that live outside:

21) Hard or large balls

22) Chalk & Bubbles

23) Pool toys & gear

24) Guns & swords

And the bags of misc larger toys 

The Dreaded Miscellaneous Label:

Even though I think most toys should have their own bin theme (sea animals, jungle animals, blocks, cars, trucks, trains, tracks, stuffed animals) there is inevitably some misc. toys. Therefore I have an everyday misc. bin in our Living room and a long term storage misc. bin or two in the garage. I try to keep this bin small because if it gets large it becomes a clutter catchall. But it's good to have one so you don't have 563 bins (LOL) for every tiny thing!!

You will get a lot of ideas from Pinterest too!! I know I do! So many people have far better/prettier systems than me.

Life Organization:

And last but very much not least NO post on organization would be complete without mentioning Flylady. It should be the subject of many, many posts really but in a nutshell it is a system of organizing yourself, your home, your life and your very being so that you can be more effective, spend more quality time with your loves and generally happier. When I say "being" I don't mean anything voodoo or religious. I mean - basic steps to help you be more productive, therefore making you happier and therefore ......you get it. 

Her book Sink Reflections was recommended by a good family friend who has 5 kids - two sets of twins! It literally changed my life all those 10 years ago. I have done exactly the opposite of what she recommends 5 times or more resulting in total Flylady crash and burn. I was a textbook case. I kept thinking I needed to start stronger and that I wasn't as bad off as all those unorganized people out there. Muuuuuhahaha! WRONG! This past spring I decided I needed more help so I downloaded her audio book to my iphone and I hit "shuffle" and listen to whatever chapter it picks for me even if I "don't think I need it". I do this in the car on my way to church or at night while doing chores. It has been the biggest change for the better! I am slooooooowly getting all areas of my life more and more organized and finding more and more peace in our daily lives. If you have issues getting and staying organized or get sidetracked super easily - this is for you!!! (and me)

I hope this post helps you!!! Remember any change you want to see doesn't have to be drastic or "all or nothing" or like anybody else's. Do what you can afford - time and money wise. Being organized might have been some work to set up (took be 10 years to figure out this system!) but it saves me a ton of time now & brings my kids joy.