Day 1, Take 3 Orange Rhino Challenge

(If you have no idea what I am doing read the first post)

I am super happy - super DUPER happy to report today was a good day. I passed - marginally - but I still passed. Booya suckas!! I had a few tense moments of crabby. And what's kinda amazing about it is how aware I am now of even the slightest crabby. I had slipped into a mode of letting lots of crabby happen - but now I don't want ANY and so ANY is very obvious. This is a tad annoying as I feel like a failure a lot of the day which is silly - but overall I take it as a really good sign.

Wow, do I sound as tired and stupid as I feel?? I think I do....

So on that note, let's wrap it up...

Orange Rhino Stats:

I banged my chest like a gorilla 2x - but less vigorously

I sang "La-la-la" once

Progress!!!!

I found myself soooo much more chiiiilllll when #3 threw a few ugly tantrums (yep - they are back, but still much more manageable). I almost yawned in the face of them. But what I actually did was stay calm and connected - the goals of the ScreamFree parenting book. I was super happy about this.

I also had an amazing date with Charlotte tonight to celebrate her brave piano performance in front of the 150-180 person audience at WISH. We had such a lovely time - so was over the moon with all the one on one. Me too. I did a interview on her that I will post in the next few days. It was magical.

If I wasn't so tired I would be way more impressed with myself.

Day 2 - Orange Rhino Challenge - failure?

(If you have no idea what I am doing - read the first post)

Let's talk about inappropriate laughing. Did you start laughing when you read that? Or groan maybe? Did you think of a time you laughed totally inappropriately? I've done it. It's funny and horrible and then even funnier because it's so horrible, but mostly it's kinda horrible. And then funny. I have a point I swear.

But first let's also talk about triggers. Things that annoy. Happenings that start the ugly ball rolling. I wish I did not have them. My continual drive to better myself through my church, the books I read, the deep convos I have with friends, and challenges I set for myself all point to this fact. But I DO have them - and I will share:

1) When one child is doing the ugly tantrum and then ANYONE talks to me during that.
2) When 2 children are doing the ugly tantrum and ANYONE makes a noise or moves too quickly.
3) The very voice of my #3 during anything stressful.......this is a very dark and scary and new revelation for me. One I will be doing some soul searching on. One that has opened the door to relieving stress in that relationship.
4) When a child stands in front of my stroller while I am walking - making it impossible to move forward.
5) When the babies are late for a nap and I can't seem to get them down for a nap.
6) When everyone is hungry and I ONCE AGAIN forgot to prep the side dishes - which I must now do and it's already 6pm and we are all starving.

This is a condensed list for the purposes of this post. Reason? This all happened today. This afternoon actually.

I am not justifying my failure or making it ok - the opposite actually. I mean what I say about this challenge - I do intend to go 365 (longer actually) without yelling. I don't care how many times I need to start over but I will get there. I mean to make this list for the purpose of identifying my triggers and therefore being bigger than them & finding a way to STILL be badass in the face of them.

So....the morning was lovely - I had a beautiful breakfast with my sissy and girlfriend. YUM. And then I puttered around the house until way too late (1:45pm) when I finally got my act together and started getting the babies ready for a nap. By this point one injury had already occurred. 7 minutes later another. And 67 seconds later another one. The last one, was when inappropriate laughing occurred. One sibling laughed at another sibling's injury. I was FURIOUS. The hell gates of motherly-lion-fury where pouring from my very eyeballs. I felt myself start to totally lose it. I did not yell though (progress?) - as we believe in total silence during injuries - but I gave that guilty child the evil look. And I do mean eeeevvvvil. I also did The Finger Point. The angry one that says "I will deal with you later."  *gulp* And when the tears of injury boy had stopped I had a mini tirade of anger. It was not the ugly scream, thank god, but it was stained a tad with venom. Back to day 1 sister. Dang it.

I regained my composure just in time too because #3 injured, way too tired, child then decided to throw an epic tantrum because I wouldn't allow him back on the punching bag he had just injured himself on twice - and he got to working himself up so good and mad that he vomited on my floor, bloody vomit too because he had cut his mouth from his fall. Awesome. Purely awesome. Then #4 starts to yell at me as she's overly tired. And then another child wants my attention. What the what is doing on people??!!!!!

#2 now gets my snappy comments to please leave the room while I deal with crazy town. But because this child needs to be told 77 times and wants to ask 77 questions about why, why, WHY this needs to be done - my snappy turns a little too snappy. Just a tad. Failure #2.

Cut to 2.5 hours later. Everyone - including me - has napped. Aaaahhhhh. We started to take a lovely walk when both #1 and #2 decide to stand in front of my stroller multiple times. This is so petty and yet so annoying to us. Both John and I started to get a little ticked by this. I hate having my forward progress stopped for no reason.........but we keep our cool and talk in that nice, firm, lecture style talk while making eye contact. The parenting books would have be proud.

Then while making dinner that I was late on, I had more sweet moments of frustration and jokingly (mostly) yelled angry jibberish into the stove. Yes, into it. It was recommended. The kids and hubs thought this amusing.

But the GOOD NEWS.......

The Silver Lining

Back from our walk and feeling more together, #2 and I had a really nice, intimate chat about how she handles her anger. I suggested hugging the person you are angry with. She made The Face at this - but I forced a hug on her anyway. She smiled. And then......

The memorable parlay:

C: Mom, you know how the cheese is the best part of the cheeseburger?

Me: (Do not overthink this or give a Paleo lecture here) "Yes!"

C: Well momma, you are the cheese.
Me: *sniff*, *sniff* melt, melt. hug, hug

And while I might have had 2 failures on Day 2 of my No Yelling At Anyone Challenge - my daughter thinks I'm the cheese. And I was high on love for her all night.

So did I fail after all?? No, and yes. But mostly no. Regardless - I see good things happening already.

Day 1, Take 3 here I come. <3 p="">

Day 1 - Orange Rhino Challenge

Dear Children,

Your Aunt Jen - let's call her Mother Theresa of Zen Parenting or MTZ (I dig that!) for short - just so happened to pass along an article a rad mom wrote about yell free parenting. Well.....remember when Aunt Danette told me about the ScreamFree parenting book? Sense a theme??? While this paints an ugly picture that I am some horrible mother - I swear to god I am not. Usually. But I guess you be the judge.....*gulp*

Anyway.... usually I am pretty chill, at least I was when I only had 3 kids, two of which went to school. The crank pot me started to crank up her cranky :) around the time I started homeschooling - which is right around the time the newest round of sleep deprivation set in, as well as having to sort out all my feelings and challenges of being with my kids ALL DAY. The universe does mean things sometimes.

Anyway......back to MTZ and her superb timing. So MTZ sends me this text "I know you and I don't yell, but this article is amazing." I am so, so glad my special MTZ was not saying this to my face because my face turned read. And hot. That itchy, hot-red feeling when you've just been nailed. MTZ and I are of the Zen parenting philosophy (at least I used to be) but no one - okay maybe Michelle Duggar my hero - holds a candle to MTZ - the Zen master. She can hold her calm in the face of the ugliest of ugly tantrums. You know those ones. It's the soul sister to the ugly scream. You know that one.

So.......back to said article. So MTZ says it's a good article and I am all over it like bees on honey. I grab the Ipad and sit down to read. I almost start to cry.

 I read that whole article  about this mom's top 10 lessons she learned after completeing a WHOLE YEAR without yelling at her kids. For reasons explained one the site the challenge is called the Orange Rhino.

This whole concept is something I had been looking for for about 6 months. The book ScreamFree Parenting - as recommended by your Aunt Danette (a fellow homeschooler of a gaggle of kids) was the first step - that book changed my whole life. But I needed something more. An active plan I could do with others. I was 99% sure I had found it at this point.

 I then started reading all the top posts and the rules of this challenge of being YellFree. Not only is the author HYSTERICAL and real, she is genuinely trying to be the best mother she can be, take things to the next level, and mother in a way that builds trust and connection - all goals of mine. I am always trying to take things to the next level.....mostly.....when not sleep deprived.

So, I decided this WAS it. I started to take the challenge. I read all the rules and the amazing and fabulous list of yell free alternatives . My personal favorites are:

6.  Bang arms on chest like a gorilla  (a good release and a great entertainment for kids)
14.  Sing. I especially like “La la la, la la, la LAAAAA”  (it’s unexpected which works wonders)
36.  Yell into a Kitchen Cabinet  (cereal boxes don’t have feelings either)

I did all of these today. I am not kidding. I  totally did and I felt totally silly and afterwards totally, totally, TOTALLY awesome. Because folks............I did it. Boom shock-a-locka! I DID IT!!!! I made it ALL DAY without being a crazy crankpot even ONCE.  

I actually started this challenge yesterday but cracked under pressure - failure. While trying to get everyone out of the car - too late for Savannah's liking, 7pm  (oops) - I asked for the keys and Charlotte decides to talk to me....while NOT handing me the keys. I broke and yelled "The keys! Please!!!" and then calmed down quickly but I was a gonner. Luke shook his head and said good-naturedly "Sorry mom, no point for you today, back to Zero" Hahahaa!!! Thanks bud. So today was Day 1, Take 2 of making it all day. 

Here's the statistics:

- I yelled into the cabinet 1x (kids totally loved this) -

- Pounded my chest like a gorilla 9x (ditto above) -

- Sang "la-la-la-la-la" 4x (kids rolled eyes and smiled)

- You kids said "Orange Rhino!" to me 2x to calm my "crazy eyes"

I didn't actually want/plan to yell more than 1x today - but you guys have an amazing sense of ANY level of frustration and so do I. My goal is to leave behind all those nasty feelings of frustraction and losing control of my compose. I want to be an Zen Parenting Hero like MTZ and Michelle Duggar.

Were y'all extra sweet today? Hells bells no. In fact #3 has a stomach bug (thank god for hardwood floors in my whole house) #4 is a teething mo-fo, #2 is extra dramatic and I have 3 extra kids at the house tonight. Booya!!! But I did it and I am SUPER proud of myself.  So in all those several thousand moments of frustration today trying to lovingly mother you all, run around to music lessons, prepare a potluck dinner for #3's preschool dinner, do the weekly bills/money planning, school you older 2 all whilst trying to get everyone to stay happy.....I remained my badass self.


Jesus - I really needed this. Here's to another victorious day. Bring it Day Two!!!

Spatter

Tonight I had the opportunity to be reminded why I love, love, LOVE our wood flooring.

Don, don, don dooooooooon.

A stomach bug.

You know you have four kids when you can hear barf occurring two rooms away. I actually thought to myself "that spatter sound has a distinctly 'barf' ring to it" and lo and behold it did.

Poor Willsie comes out of the room with John and says "Brother okay" He calls himself 'brother.' It's freaking adorable. Admit it.

So 'Brother' comes out also covered and John looks at me and smiles and says "Sweet!"

You know you have four kids when neither of us batted an eye.

He started the bath, I grabbed the paper towels, cleaner and plastic bag. Swipe, wipe and it was done. He came in the the bedroom to laugh with me about our awesome Friday night and to tell me how rad I was to just jump elbow deep in the ralph cleanup job without complaining. He's quick to compliment - such a lovely man.

So the lesson here is whenever I think to myself "In my next house, I really, really, REALLY want carpet in the bedrooms" someone please bitch slap me.

Notin' yummier

There's not much yummier than a bathing baby....

Oh wait - it's two babies bathing

Or better yet three!!!

There is just something about how clean and fresh they are.

As if their skin wasn't irresistible enough already - now I can't keep my kissing momma lips off it.

And Willsie feels the same way....

Savannah's Interview - 11 months

Dearest Wee One, 

With your first birthday right around the corner (sniff sniff) I thought it high time for an interview. If you could talk - here's what you might say....

Survey Questions

Age: 11 months

What is your favorite & or least favorite:

Thing to do at school?

Well, seeing as how it happens to be located in my living room - I mostly just love to crawl around and gnaw on any dropped pencils - much to my mom's chagrin. I also love my classmates - they always want to hold me and sweet-talk me.

Sport?

Trying to crawl out the back door without being seen. Trying to climb the furniture. Bouncing on the trampoline.

Friends?

 Lillian Dohring

Thing/s to do with friends?

 I like to grab Lilly's face. She's super cute. 

Thing/s to do on the weekend?

 Be held by my family. And play

Song/singer/band?

My mommy

Color?

not sure yet

Place (park, museum, zoo etc.) to visit?

Wherever mommy is. Or someplace fun I can crawl around

Sweet treat?

berries or dried fruit

Animal?

doggies

Toy?

whatever my siblings have that's new and off limits

Snack?

right now it's goat yogurt with molasses or blended fruit 

Time of day?

right after nap time

Preferred Parent?

Mommy!! But I do love daddy

Meal?

broccoli & chicken with steamed beets

I LOVE all food. I eat pretty much anything

Activity?

Being held, going for walks, crawling around and hiding small things in my mouth

Books?

 I'm the fourth child - my mom hasn't started reading to me yet ;/

Shoes?

No preference yet

Article of clothing?

Nothing yet.

I DON'T like when my mom does my hair or wipes my nose.

About you:

Nicknames old and new:

Putanesca, Putabaker, Madam S, Number 4, My Love, Love Bug, Sniglet Piglet, 

Sniggie Poe Piggie, Lady Love, Bunny, Kittie, Love Angel

Milestone:

Standing up and letting go for a few seconds, 

crawling for several months, pulling up on everything, climbing onto the couch

Most proud of yourself when:

I find momma while she's trying to go to the bathroom by herself (imagine that!)

Afraid of:

Loud noises of all kinds including but not limited to: the vacuum, saying "boo" too loudly, Willsie's tantrums, and other loud things.

Also afraid or tears are generated by: the trumpet, harmonica, saxophone (who knows why but my momma banned them from the house)

Excited by:

Anyone in my family coming home, a good game of chase, yummy food.

Thing you love to do most that you know you shouldn’t:

Eat pencils, put my hands in the toilet and splash around

Current phrases & sayings:

Not talking yet - but I make the cutest sound in the world that sounds really wispy - kinda like "wiiissssss" and "wwhhhuuuut" My mommy & grammy love it

You still like to:

Nurse and be wrapped tight - swaddled - for bed 

Nighttime Routine:

My momma bathes me - but she has to put me in the tub real slow or I cry. Then she has to hold me for a bit while in the tub or I cry. Then she has to stay right there next to the tub, or I cry. Then I get pajamas on - and I cry at this too, hate getting dressed. Then I get to nurse, have a pacifier, get swaddled and cuddled for a bit and then laid on my tummy 

Can’t go to bed without:

My pacifier by MamMam - I don't like other brands

Morning Routine:

Wake at 5AM to nurse and go back to sleep. Wake at 6:30/7:30 to nurse and be awake now. I like to crawl all over my sleepy momma and mess with the nicknacks on the bedframe.

Wake-up time:

6:30/7:30

Bedtime:

6:30/7

Naptime:

9:30 and 1:30

What you say when I get you up in the morning:

WAAAAAH!

What’s the last thing you say at night:

Notin' I have a pacifier in my mouth

Mischievous - but cute things you do:

eat pencils, open the homeschool cabinet and pull out all manner or untouchables

Cute things you do:

Make a scrunchy face when I am happy,  do a little shake shake bounce bounce dance when the food I am eating is yummy or I want more

One phrase that describes you right now:

Sweet as can be - our love

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Mommy's taste tester

Who do you admire most?

Mommy

The Color Run - our first 5K

I first heard about the Color Run from my friend and all around fun-seeker Jill Carmel. She had pictures posted of her covered in color - and smiling about it. I knew at that moment I had to do it. I was ready to drive up to Sacramento to do it with her too. But then she told me there was one coming to LA. Soooo stoked about that!!

I told my sister - and she was totally down. 

Here we are all fresh and clean and perky ;) We picked up our packets and I picked our team name "Hue You Calling Colorful?" I have moments of awesomeness.

The children were excited as heck. Charlotte's friend Skylar decided to run too

It will be fun to compare the before and afters....... All fresh and clean

Little bests <3 p="">

Thanks Memo for getting the shirts designed with our team name!

Ideas for next year: LOVE THIS!

Love the matching socks! Well played ladies.....well played

With my camera is a ziploc bag (to protect from the color) me and 20,000 of my closet friends were ready!!!!

Let the color begin!!!!  As you run or walk this 5K (3.4 miles) there are checkpoints every kilometer where Color Run staff throw dyed corn starch at you. Some people roll in it. Some people twirl in it. Some avoid it. We prefered twirling.

A little blue looks lovely on you people.

Charlotte's face cracks me up. This was about 1/4 of the way through. Always dazzles with the flare for dramatic! Love Isa's swinging braid! :)

A little pose after Blue.

My lady loves before and after Yellow.

Luke was none too pleased I grabbed some blue and got him good. Hehehehe

Post Blue

Post run shot

Side view post run. 

The after shots.....

And the final comparison. Love it. It was such a fun, unforgettable day. I love you guys!

You color our world

My sweet little man. You most definitely color our world.

You've got so much personality packed into that cute body of yours.

Here's a glimpse into your life these days....

Survey Questions:

Age: 2.5 years

What is your favorite or least favorite:

Thing to do at school? 

I'm not entirely sure - I would imagine sing. You love to sing.

Sport?

Jumping on the trampoline

Thing/s to do with friends?

Not a big player with friends yet, but you love to bike ride and play motorcycles

Thing/s to do on the weekend?

Spend time with daddy & eat birthday cake if there's a party :)

Song/singer/band?

Taylor Swift - Trouble

Taylor Swift - Not getting back together

Raffi - Six Little Ducks

Raffi - Blue River Train

Mumford & Sons

Holiday?

Not sure yet

Store?

Starbucks 

Place (park, museum, zoo etc.) to visit?

The Park - any park

Sweet treat?

Pretty much anything sugary, gummy or chocolate :)
You love gum too

Animal?

You loved our guinea pig that died. You like dogs too.

Toy?

Anything your older siblings have that they don't want to share...
and motorcycles you can easily hold.

Snack?

Apple/blackberry sauce. You will happily down 2-4 of those little cups

Time of day?

When daddy comes home

Preferred Parent?

Daddy!

Meal?

Mini Meatballs with Bold and Spicy BBQ sauce from Trader Joes

Movie or TV show?

 Lala Loopsie show that Charlotte likes

What's your favorite app?

Temple Run 

Activity?

Reading books, bike riding, going for walks

Books?

Gorilla, Gorilla. 
Goodnight, Goodnight Construction Site

Friends?

Violet, Grammy & Owen

Shoes?

Your new green Geox

Article of clothing?

Your orange striped long-sleeved shirt (orange is your fav color)

About you:

Nicknames old and new:

Boober, Willsie, Wills, Willsie Billsie, BooberHead, Dumpling Pumpling

Milestone:

Can ride your Strider Bike and balance.

Can talk really well - 5 word sentences and up!
Fully potty trained - at school only.

Most proud of yourself when:

You wash your hands by yourself

Afraid of:

Monsters (not sure where you learned about them). 
The dark corner of the living room.
The potty at home anyway

Excited by:

Daddy coming home. Going to Starbucks. Birthday cake.

Thing you love to do most that you know you shouldn’t:

Finger paint the bathroom with toothpaste

Dump a whole roll of TP in the bathtub

Color on your body

Current phrases & sayings:
When asked what your name is you say: "Brother" (lol!)

You no do that!

Cooz me (excuse me)

cee-wup (syrup)

Goo-kie (Lukie)

CharCharsh (Charlotte)

Vannah (Savannah)

You still like to:

Play with water in all forms: hand washing, dishes, bathing

Nighttime Routine:

Bath time, running around the house naked, bottle & cuddles and stories in your room by daddy, then switch to mommy (because daddy takes FOREVER if left to do it) and mommy reads 2 stories, then turns out the light & sings 2 songs and lays you down, covers you up and walks straight out.

Can’t go to bed without:

above routine & multiple soft blankets & preferable "fluffy" which is your light blue blanket with the polka dots.

Morning Routine:

Wakes around 7AM usually yelling for Daddy or Mommy. And if Daddy isn't home - then cries or grumps for about 5 minutes or so. Then asks for a bottle and lies in the crib to drink it, or I have to hold you on the couch while you swat at Savannah to go away. Bliss I tell you! :)

Wake-up time:

6:30-7:30

Bedtime:

7:45/8

Naptime:

1:30 or whenever I am putting Savannah down. 

What you say when I get you up in the morning:

Daddy here?

What’s the last thing you say at night:

Cummer me up momma (cover)

Mischievous - but cute things you do:

Steal extra vitamins

Cute things you do:

Let baby play in your crib when you wake (rarely)

Everything about you is cute!!

One phrase that describes you right now:

Thank god the terrible twos are alllllmost over you sweet thing!

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Daddy's helper (just kidding)

Who do you admire most?

Daddy