Harry Potter's Influence

Recently we have been reading the first Harry Potter book to the kids before bed. It's the first time I have been inspired to battle falling asleep while reading to the kids at night. I LOVE the Harry Potter books and now the kids do too. After a few nights of this John started to read to them too and he got hooked. Like up-until-1am hooked. And then the texts started......oh the texts. Here is a sampling of what John started to text me throughout the day over the following few weeks. I laughed so hard while typing these up again.

"Your mom's a toad and your dad's a muggle"

"I caught the guinea pig performing magic last night. I think he's really a house elf and works for Malfoy. We're safe. I fed him magic mushrooms, it took all his power away. But he is hallucinating now. I had some myself, good stuff. "

"Voldemort lives!! I caught him sucking the blood out of our trash can last nite. I spit poisoned vomit on him but it only scared him away. We need to be ready when he comes back. I think he is after you!!! I fear he wants your cuticles. He will be vulnerable until he gets them. We must act fast."

"Well, I saw Voldemort today. He was disguised as an old real estate agent woman. I was 9 minutes early to my inspection and she/he complained bitterly about me being 20 minutes early! Evil incarnate. I kicked it where it really counts, but before I could cast my death spell it disappeared. I have a feeling I will be seeing HIM again!!!"

"I am so hungry I tried to eat a toad. But when I picked it up it turned into one of Voldemort's house elves. It disappeared before I had a chance to kill it. We need to watch out people, Voldemort is everywhere! And boy I am hungry"

"The Italian witches say it's okay to drop off your chariot for revitalization of it's magical cooling unit" (his way of telling me to drop off my car to get the A/C looked at)

"I must have killed over 10 evil witches this morning. He's just trying to get to you. He knows I have a protective curse that keeps my family safe. But I can't stop him from irritating us. He truly is a freaking jerk. He gave William his port wine stain birth mark when he refused to turn evil. William may be the only one that can kill him but I will keep trying. "

"I saw Dumbledore today. He was sitting on top of a damaged chimney. He didn't know it was damage but boy was he scared when I pushed on it and knocked him off. He dropped his invisibility cloak and then I saw him. That's when I discovered Dumbledore is a bit of a streaker. He had nothing on but his tennis shoes."

My dear lover man, I love your sense of humor these days. You make me laugh. And I love you for it.